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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

End of an Era

If you've been on here lately, you know that State was last weekend.

I didn't swim the way I wanted to.

My team was amazing. I mean they were truly amazing. However, I couldn't help being jealous. I know that it's horrible to say, but if I'm being truly honest, I was jealous. My heart was aching from jealousy as I saw them accept medals on the podiums or as they walked out of the ready room to thousands of people cheering in the stands.

My freshman & sophomore years, that was me. I was on top of the world. I had amazing grades, great friends, and I was fast. At the end of my sophomore year, I got hurt. I've been handling a shoulder injury for almost two years, and normally I can handle it. State broke my heart.

I was hoping to go fast enough that I could make the A relay and swim at night (the fastest 16 relays swim again in finals), but I didn't make it. I was crying for about 3 hours, and I felt the hugs and hugs of my teammates around me as they showed their love and support. They knew how badly I wanted to swim in finals again. And they knew how much it broke my heart to not be able to do it.

When I got home, naturally I was watching One Tree Hill. I was honestly just trying to distract myself from how sad I felt. Nathan, one of the main characters, said "Numbers are funny. They can measure you, time you, and analyze you all they want....Well, the truth is they can't measure any of it: heart, want need....You can't measure a dream."

I know it sounds cliche, but after hearing this, I felt so much better. My times, my medals, my ribbons, all of it was just a bunch of numbers. A place, a record, a time. All of these things were numerical representations of all of the work I had done, of all of the hours and hours I spent practicing and competing, but not one of them showed how badly I wanted to succeed. None of those numbers showed my work ethic, none of them showed how much I loved my team, and none of them showed how heartbroken I was after State.

High school swimming is over.

It's time for a new beginning, in which my dream can grow even more.


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